Tuesday, September 9, 2025

Seventeen Years and Two Months

 It had recently been brought to my attention that my life has been following a fixed timeline.

Wow, talk about time travel vibes. Is it so farfetched to imagine a can of wormy snakes so repugnant and confusing few writers dare to even broach the subject?

Anyways, I digressed again. 

It would appear that landmark events triggered this condition within me. In addition, they have the annoying knack of seemingly reoccurring at fixed intervals of my life. Though they vary in terms of source and magnitude of impact, the timing is uncanny, almost prophetic in nature...

What does seventeen years and two months mean? Do they have a numerological meaning I have yet to decipher? It doesn't even have a poetic ring to the phrase, and yet it still remains unnerving...

With that, I bid thee adieu till next time hohoho

Thursday, August 28, 2025

Four Betrayals Under Heaven

 After watching a relatively old Wushu film recently, I have come to realize something about the Chinese language.

Whatever dialect you end up with, whether it is the main Mandarin or Hong Kong Cantonese, Guangdong Cantonese, Hokkien, Hakka, Fujian, Teochew and the list goes on and on... there are some commonalities.

Such as the propensity for four-word terms.

Whether it is a name for some thing or a title or an action or plan, the Chinese have what we call chen2 yu3 to refer to calling it. (If that makes any sense. ;)

One may call them cliches, or day-to-day phrases, or whatever, but regardless, the Chinese seem to always have some four-worded name for it.

So I have come to call what I just been through, Four Betrayals Under Heaven.

I may neither confirm nor deny I am Chinese but what is undeniable is that the Chinese, all humans really, have a propensity to dramatize.

That's my take on the matter. This note takes extreme prosaic license with the Chinese and the Chinese language(s), AND is not meant to be taken seriously nor offensively, so take it or leave it! LOL

Wednesday, August 27, 2025

Tadaima~~~

This is a part two of sorts for the previous post.

"I'm back."
"Welcome back..."

If you are not Japanese but watch enough Japanese shows, blessed enough to visit Japan, you may eventually end up hearing "okaeri" (おかえり), often spoken when one returns to one's home. 

Ghosts aside, it is customary for someone inside the house besides the one returning, to greet their return by uttering "tadaima" (ただいま)

This is poignant for this stage of my life. I am finally back full circle to my stage of development 17 years ago. It has been a vicious journey, an incredible cycle of betrayal and hope, despair and joy, ever in pursuit of ...

But once again I got ahead of myself. 

Will you welcome me? O-kae-ri-nasai? Or will that vicious cycle begin again?

Here I kanpai to the past that brought me here, the future as yet unwritten or unrevealed, and the peace that surrounds the present.

Gouchijou-sama-desu. Arigato-gozaru-yo...

Sunday, July 27, 2025

Welcome Back

I was kind of tired when 4pm rolled in. Time to go to church. For the first time in 2.5 years.

Why? Why the tiredness? Why go to church? Why this day? Why such a long time since Dec 2022 when I stopped?

Those are pretty good questions. Suffice to say it's all cos depression and move along.

I had a great time at church almost from the get go. It was like stepping into a new church, with some old stomping grounds and familiar faces. Our choir leader has now become Lead Pastor of the English Church, our worship pastor is now in charge of the Mutiara Damansara church on Fridays, and a lot of friends are married with kids this high!

Speaking of those kids in particular, I knew their parents from choir days, back in 2011, and I bumped into them looking for friends to sit with, cos my friends had to go to the children and prams corner. So I politely asked if I could join them when all of a sudden  - pastor walked past.

Now it's been a long hiatus and I've never mentioned my relationship with pastor before. With his authority as a Founding Pastor I approached him once before I made my decision to get baptized, about getting parents' blessing for the baptism. He tried his best to remember my name, but I can swear out of five thousand people he can remember names for, he always forgot mine. But good news is he remembers me.

Naturally I was happy to see him, so I greeted him and chatted with him, all the time guiding him into the building's main auditorium where he already has a seat (they all sit in the front most row). We parted ways and left me hoping we can catch up soon.

Pastor is the reason I'm in DUMC. Still. I left when working in the hotel got too tiring for almost any other activity, even church. After almost two years, pastor showed up out of absolutely nowhere in the lobby of the hotel I worked in. Shocked, I asked them bluntly, "What are you doing here??" Maybe that might have sounded rude to some people but in my defense out of sheer shock and admittedly a little guilt, I just blurted them out seeing the pastor at my workspace. 

And then, AND THEN, I found out the serendipitous plan that God had for me.

You see, back in the day, there was an unwritten custom in the Banqueting department of said hotel that, whichever assistant banquet operations manager and supervisor attend the food tasting event, they will also attend to the main event. Makes sense? Cos they already have a relationship, like it or not, with the client(s) and/or event organizers. With me so far? This will make sense down the road, bear with me.

So, a few months leading to this meeting with the pastor, I was placed in charge of my very first food tasting, for a Chinese wedding dinner. I was humbled when they called for a blessing prayer before dinner, so I casually mentioned midway through the tasting that I used to attend church. 

I never asked what church they went to. If had, this story would have gone much differently.

Fast forward to meeting the pastor. I brought him and his wife to the hotel lobby lounge as they had arrived early for lunch. Bear in mind this was during the fasting month so the buffet restaurant was closed, but then I found out just for today it was open and fully booked for this post-wedding reception. So I tended to them while they waited for other guests to arrive, organizing some warm water to them, all while the lobby lounge staff wondered what or who I was fussing over.

It was then when I realized that the food tasting clients was the married couple he had just presided over.

Coincidence? I think not!

Why then would I not know? What was I doing in the lobby when I met pastor? Well, that is a sad backstory. You see, back then the food director had this brilliant idea of generating more profit for the hotel, which is by selling festive goodies seven to eight months of the year. Our country being as it is is one of the countries with the most public holidays, period. So there I was minding my business assisting the management of this little festive desk in the lobby, pulled out of ordinary banquet operations when...

Fast forward to the evening. The main event is underway. I just finished my shift packing up the festive desk. I went to the backlane of the event space where this VIP wedding dinner event was taking place. Why VIP? cos the bride's parents had titles. When I found out I shook my head. They had it the wrong way round. This is a Christian wedding dinner, the VIP is the pastor who came there right after evening church celebration. (VVIP was of course the Holy Spirit and God.)

Later still I realized, my whole cell group was there having dinner, at the other end of the event space. And the future senior pastor, unknowing of his destiny then, was also present...

Long story short, it was a comeback. Again. I sincerely hope it will forever be the longest I strayed. I never want to go through that again.

The Aged Parchment

My name is Lincoln. Funny, I know, for a kid in this country to be named after a president of another, more powerful country. You can call me Link, but then you would probably think of some console game character, and that will throw even more confusion and hilarity into the mix.

But I digress. Forgive me, time is short. In fact, time is the problem here.

And time is the reason why you are reading this story.

You will have many questions – you probably already have loads by this point – but I promise, all will be explained.

No, that is wrong. I pray to God I can.


It all began … oh, I don’t know, umpteen years before. The event has become legend, but ask anyone and they will tell you that it started, as these kinds of stories normally do, with a medical centre and a mad scientist. A biological project released something, a new strain of virus that literally changed one from the core. The first of them were simply called the Infected, but the name was short-lived as they quickly spread and consumed mankind, in a single night.

Not much was remembered about the mad scientist, about his origins. His laboratory was subsequently lost over time, but I was given this piece from salvaged history – a transcribed excerpt of his project’s recordings – a small remnant of the truth.

“Project Tyke – Day 1667. This is Dr H--- recording observations of tests for the latest chimaera. I say chimaera, because it has become apparent in recent attempts, that successful aberrations were only possible by involving more than two specimens to create unexpected synergies in the results. 

“We have long since abandoned base principles of morality, fringing on legal and even natural laws to achieve our goal. As we approach the five-year mark of this project, it has become imperative that we attempt what has never been attempted, in order to find a cure to ---. We can no longer afford failure; each new batch must work better than the previous. History will forget, even forgive, our so-called atrocities, so long as the product succeeds.

“We are fortunate our sponsors had approved direct-to-human trials – foregoing such unnecessary precautions had singularly expedited our progress.

 “Today’s test subjects are more of the feeble, and ailing. How I --- them --- they are the perfect specimens for this project. The new strain combines --- and --- projections indicate an initial burst of energy and loss of sentience, but as the body stabilizes post-treatment the subject will possess --- greater than before. Better still, a single dose is sufficient to produce permanent, irreversible effect.

“This is it. Today marks a brand-new chapter – no, a brand-new saga of history for humanity. Today marks the end of---“

I had hoped the doctor was not as mad as he had been made up to have been. But, if anything, this excerpt proved his ruthless abandon of morals, of reason – everything that defined us as human. The Infected were not the first of their kind – Dr H was.

Or, as he has since been known, Lord Tyke.


In five years, a wretched society grew from the midst of the mad doctor’s creation. The Infected had taken to call themselves Superhumans, a new race of homo sapiens that is superior in every biological way. They were, in fact, stronger and faster with enhanced senses and reflexes – everything mankind needs to advance to greater heights, apart from compassion and empathy. 

Lord Tyke had us believe that emotion is the true hindrance to man’s development; his virus evolved mankind’s pursuit of perfection into an intolerance for inability, incapability, and error. He sought to create his new world by ridding it of those unaffected by his virus. Outcast, rejected and betrayed by those closest to them, they were left to the mercy of the Watchers – or rather, their lack thereof, the hunters of the inferior. The Imperfects, they came to be labelled, a name that was meant to ridicule and ostracise.

It was a name that the Imperfects came to embrace, a symbol of their humanity, their sacrifice of perfection for something greater. Though – they, too, grew into a faction of society equal in standing to the Superhumans, if not in power nor numbers. For the road was paved by Rowen, the beacon of hope.

I would not have believed this legend, this girl or the event that turned the tide for the redemption of humanity, if I had not met her in person. Rowen was the most unassuming girl you could imagine, but perhaps that was her secret. You would not have expected her to orchestrate a resistance, even a rebellion to save the souls of mankind, but she did. No-one would remember what she looked like or where she had gone to, but no-one could ever forget her words either.

“Something is missing in this in this society. In the pursuit of perfection, we have lost the essence that made us human - humanity. The Watchers are watching. Society thinks that we are the virus. Yes, we are a threat to this society. We will cripple this addiction to perfection, and preserve humanity.

“Stand strong. Choose compassion.”

Stand strong, choose compassion. It was those words that tore the veil for me, and for so many Superhumans.

Yes, dear reader. I too am one of the involved. And so was Rowen. 

And Marcus. Poor Marcus.

Ah, now I have gone too far. We must recap the turning point. The inexplicable, impossible turning point past what was thought to be the point of no return.

Lord Tyke himself undid his own creation. He discovered and invaded the main hideout of the Imperfects, cornering Rowen and challenging them to a battle of supremacy. 

I was there that fateful night, counted among the Imperfects, hidden among the corralled by Rowen’s ingenious trick. And so was Marcus.

We were imprisoned in groups, in cells, in the very same medical centre that birthed the Superhumans. The Watchers became our wardens, and tortured us, taunted us with our own mistakes and shortcomings. 

But the Watchers, Lord Tyke, Superhumans – they did what we thought was impossible that night. Not noticing us, they locked us Superhumans up with the Imperfects. We who sided with them in this war to turn the tide.

They made a mistake.

In that darkness, four words become whispers of hope. In those cells, that hope was born from a feeling, the ability to put another above oneself. In groups, that hope grew those four words into a battle cry. 

Stand strong. Choose compassion.

We helped one another. It was really as simple as that. Superhumans and Imperfects, working together to stand strong against the Watchers. Most extraordinarily, the Imperfects offered the Watchers compassion, turning them towards the same hope that saved us.


And now, all those years later, humanity struggles to reclaim what made us human. Slowly, we learn to coexist, as if peoples of two nations on the only land left to man.

A few, however, were lost that night. Rowen disappeared, but she left behind a message of faith. Faith in the Imperfects, in the great work that had been laid before us by that turning point. No-one has since seen or heard of her, even though she promised she was simply carrying on the good work on her own, in other infected parts of the world.

Lord Tyke was not brought to justice; he, too, vanished without a trace. Looking back, I could not be sure of what we would do, had we did. Would we string him up (or worse) for crimes against humanity? Would we have simply let him go? Or would we, could we even, convince him to our side?

After all those umpteen years, I still do not know.

Then there was Marcus. Poor Marcus. There was no good way of saying it – the nastiest of fate befell him that night, a fate that we will only discover when it will be too late.

No, I did not make a mistake there. Something has happened – will happen, but has not. It is beginning, and it has ended – but not, I think, for you, dear reader. 

I know, it is confusing for me too. I write this story only because I was handed a tattered and half-burned remnant of the original, an aged parchment – but clearly, containing the words you have just read, in my own handwriting.

Can you guess?

There are other markers, prophecies that only just recently was brought into light. Missing planes. Wild games. Children acting like men, and men acting like children. It is as though someone suddenly decided it was time for us to know.

But we didn’t, though. Didn’t know. Still don’t. Uncertainty is always there, distracting us, keeping us away from absolute truth. Doubt is the evil poison that blinds the mind. 

And for some reason it always ends up in my attention. Loose scraps of paper, news of coincidences – or not? – that drastically influenced the course of events today. Seemingly forgotten audio and visual – stories of hope that reminded us of our worth. Like clues to a puzzle, I have a sensational feeling that I will not be able to see the whole picture until I have them all. Until then, I must act on faith.

Stand strong. Choose compassion.

The thirteenth hour has begun its toll.

Everything is about to change.

Friday, July 25, 2025

I'm Back...

 Being a high functioning [censored] is not easy. The seasons are as unpredictable as in Game of Thrones, and I was told that if the triggers were discovered it would earn a Nobel Prize in Medicine, imagine that!

But all that is in the past now. A new season has begun, a season of highs, and I am fully ready this time to grasp every opportunity that comes my way and more!

Welcome back, Food for Thought! It's been 14 years since my last post, let's hope the next interval is not as long!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

The VESSEL

I've got a LOT to write about since my last post, but now I want to get today off my chest first because it's the freshest. (!)

This story began at the inception of DUMC Punctuation Ministry's newest initiative and main focus for the year 2011, the Academy for Performing Arts known henceforth as the VESSEL. Courses to be held in the evenings and/or weekends cover the various aspects of the performing arts scene, namely singing, acting and dancing. Applicants had to audition in song, act and dance for admission which was limited to only 15 for this year.
The day for me was quite hectic. I had to shuffle to and fro from my family and DC, cos' it's my grandmother's birthday when we celebrate with a longevity-noodle breakfast and a birthday luncheon, and then I was serving in the choir in church, all the while doing some last-minute preparation for the auditions later. It was gratifying, to say the least, to have Cathy and Amy, the other two MadWorlders serving in worship this weekend, encouraging me and advised me on my singing. Thanks to you both, as well as to Angie, Melissa and my own cell for your support and prayers!

So, in the early afternoon of this hallowed second Day of the Lord, around 20 budding thespians gathered at Concourse 2 of the Dream Centre awaited their entry into Hall 2 at 2.00pm.
And from MadWorld, no less than FOUR turned up: Rebekah, Sammie, Amanda and myself! "All around me are familiar faces", and it was great to know that the Vessel's inaugural batch of students will have a touch of MadWorld influence,  as it can be certain that some if not all of us will be admitted!


Before the actual auditioning process, we were treated to introductions by Pastor Mike Ngui, who as the pastor in charge will be overseeing the spiritual aspect of this Christian theatre, developing the maturity of VESSEL's students, as well as Mdm Chow Hung Lan, head of Punctuation and Principal of the academy. After, the auditions well and truly began, where the auditioned are required to interpret a monologue given beforehand, and then perform it again based on the given direction, followed by singing on the far side of the room "for vocal projection", and finally a short interview by Hung Lan.
During the four hours that followed, we saw friends going in and out, discussing MadWorld and the pros and cons of going first or last during one-on-one auditions. Amanda had to sing a different song because her worship song was too simple; Rebekah had to deal with her flu and so it wasn't her best, but she was using her callback song from MadWorld and Sammie said her projection was excellent (way to go!); Sammie nearly croaked but held it back towards the end of her song, but found it quite hard to do the second monologue interpretation; I had trouble with my first interpretation but was fine after that, but I sang out of habit (that is to say, almost the same with my many practices since Amy's coaching that morning) so I didn't know how THAT one went. It was a really long wait overall. The plus side is the side dishes: Daryll, Gabriel, Mei Yern, Shaun, Melvin, Zara, and Reuben from MadWorld all came and went! Their presence alone lifted our spirits for the unnerving tests, and many gave more besides.


After four hours of waiting till our nerves nearly broke, the last applicant finally finished her audition, and it was time for the dance test, where all of us joined in at once. It consisted of warm-ups, some ballet movements and a jazz (ballroom dance) routine. To be quite honest, I don't know how he would remember which of us he will admit. For that matter, I don't even know what criteria they were using to screen us...
This reminded me so much of MadWorld! I kept looking at Amanda to gauge her reactions to the exercises that I believe are all too familiar to her! Besides which, I finally appreciate what my sister is or will be doing in her ballet classes, and the jazz just threw me back to my boarding school days when I took beginners' ballroom dancing classes at RM10 per class! It was quite similar to the samba and rock n' roll steps that I learned, and I would be all the more enthusiastic if he would just ... slow down! LOL Honestly, my old instructor William took it quite slow for us, which is just nice and made learning the dance so much more enjoyable. But the "after-effects" are exactly the same: on my way home I kept rehearsing the moves, in the carpark on my way to the lift, and even in the shower (okay, too much info!), much like what I would have done back in school!


The auditions officially ended with a prayer led by Hung Lan, who informed us that the "results" will be out by the end of this week (ending on the 16th), and for the successful applicants a team-building exercise will be held sometime on the 23rd or 30th of this same month.
Briefly? Phew! One whole week of waiting! I don't think I can stand it! All fingers and toes crossed and praying for the best!






Reflections:

For me it was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time! There were some things that I was proud and glad of, less that I was not, and at the end of the audition I find myself just enjoying learning the dance steps so much I didn't feel like an audition for me. I am just yearning for more dance lessons so much that I am desperately wanting to be accepted into the academy now!


But above the drama coaching (which would be a refreshing first for me in a LONG time), the vocal training (that I REALLY need), and even the dance lessons, my main inspiration for joining the VESSEL is the spiritual aspect of it. I am most eager (yea, even ecstatically excited!) for the accountability programme that Punctuation offers, complementing the artistic training. The spiritual input and guidance from church pastors and leaders in the course of grooming our performing skills would not only bolster our course of study and training in Christian theatre, but also a wonderful and God-breathed addition to the spiritual goals I set for this year! Hence my reason for trying out for the VESSEL, as nervous as I was: I want to develop my interest in the performing arts and use whatever I have in this area in the service of our Lord, to give back at least a little something for all that He has done for me, and will do in times to come!