Sunday, July 27, 2025

Welcome Back

I was kind of tired when 4pm rolled in. Time to go to church. For the first time in 2.5 years.

Why? Why the tiredness? Why go to church? Why this day? Why such a long time since Dec 2022 when I stopped?

Those are pretty good questions. Suffice to say it's all cos depression and move along.

I had a great time at church almost from the get go. It was like stepping into a new church, with some old stomping grounds and familiar faces. Our choir leader has now become Head Pastor of the English Church, our worship pastor is now in charge of the Mutiara Damansara church on Fridays, and a lot of friends are married with kids this high!

Speaking of those kids, I knew their parents from choir days, back in 2011, and I bumped into them looking for friends to sit with, cos my friends had to go to the children and prams corner. So I politely asked if I could join them when all of a sudden  - pastor walked past.

Now it's been a long hiatus and I've never mentioned my relationship with pastor before. As the former Senior Pastor I approached him once before I made my decision to get baptised, about getting parents' blessing for the baptism. He tried his best to remember my name, but I can swear out of five thousand people he can remember names for, he always forgot mine. But good news is he remembers me.

Naturally I was happy to see him, so I greeted him and chatted with him, all the time guiding him into the building's main auditorium where he already has a seat (they all sit in the front most row). We parted ways and left me hope we can catch up soon.

Pastor is the reason I'm in DUMC. Still. I left when working in the hotel got too tiring for almost any other activity, even church. After almost two years, pastor showed up out of absolutely nowhere in the lobby of the hotel I worked in. Shocked, I asked them bluntly, "What are you doing here??" Maybe that might have sounded rude to some people but I just blurted them out out of sheer shock of seeing my pastor at my hotel. 

Long story short, it was a comeback. Again. I sincerely hope it's the longest.

The Aged Parchment

My name is Lincoln. Funny, I know, for a kid in this country to be named after a president of another, more powerful country. You can call me Link, but then you would probably think of some console game character, and that will throw even more confusion and hilarity into the mix.

But I digress. Forgive me, time is short. In fact, time is the problem here.

And time is the reason why you are reading this story.

You will have many questions – you probably already have loads by this point – but I promise, all will be explained.

No, that is wrong. I pray to God I can.


It all began … oh, I don’t know, umpteen years before. The event has become legend, but ask anyone and they will tell you that it started, as these kinds of stories normally do, with a medical centre and a mad scientist. A biological project released something, a new strain of virus that literally changed one from the core. The first of them were simply called the Infected, but the name was short-lived as they quickly spread and consumed mankind, in a single night.

Not much was remembered about the mad scientist, about his origins. His laboratory was subsequently lost over time, but I was given this piece from salvaged history – a transcribed excerpt of his project’s recordings – a small remnant of the truth.

“Project Tyke – Day 1667. This is Dr H--- recording observations of tests for the latest chimaera. I say chimaera, because it has become apparent in recent attempts, that successful aberrations were only possible by involving more than two specimens to create unexpected synergies in the results. 

“We have long since abandoned base principles of morality, fringing on legal and even natural laws to achieve our goal. As we approach the five-year mark of this project, it has become imperative that we attempt what has never been attempted, in order to find a cure to ---. We can no longer afford failure; each new batch must work better than the previous. History will forget, even forgive, our so-called atrocities, so long as the product succeeds.

“We are fortunate our sponsors had approved direct-to-human trials – foregoing such unnecessary precautions had singularly expedited our progress.

 “Today’s test subjects are more of the feeble, and ailing. How I --- them --- they are the perfect specimens for this project. The new strain combines --- and --- projections indicate an initial burst of energy and loss of sentience, but as the body stabilizes post-treatment the subject will possess --- greater than before. Better still, a single dose is sufficient to produce permanent, irreversible effect.

“This is it. Today marks a brand-new chapter – no, a brand-new saga of history for humanity. Today marks the end of---“

I had hoped the doctor was not as mad as he had been made up to have been. But, if anything, this excerpt proved his ruthless abandon of morals, of reason – everything that defined us as human. The Infected were not the first of their kind – Dr H was.

Or, as he has since been known, Lord Tyke.


In five years, a wretched society grew from the midst of the mad doctor’s creation. The Infected had taken to call themselves Superhumans, a new race of homo sapiens that is superior in every biological way. They were, in fact, stronger and faster with enhanced senses and reflexes – everything mankind needs to advance to greater heights, apart from compassion and empathy. 

Lord Tyke had us believe that emotion is the true hindrance to man’s development; his virus evolved mankind’s pursuit of perfection into an intolerance for inability, incapability, and error. He sought to create his new world by ridding it of those unaffected by his virus. Outcast, rejected and betrayed by those closest to them, they were left to the mercy of the Watchers – or rather, their lack thereof, the hunters of the inferior. The Imperfects, they came to be labelled, a name that was meant to ridicule and ostracise.

It was a name that the Imperfects came to embrace, a symbol of their humanity, their sacrifice of perfection for something greater. Though – they, too, grew into a faction of society equal in standing to the Superhumans, if not in power nor numbers. For the road was paved by Rowen, the beacon of hope.

I would not have believed this legend, this girl or the event that turned the tide for the redemption of humanity, if I had not met her in person. Rowen was the most unassuming girl you could imagine, but perhaps that was her secret. You would not have expected her to orchestrate a resistance, even a rebellion to save the souls of mankind, but she did. No-one would remember what she looked like or where she had gone to, but no-one could ever forget her words either.

“Something is missing in this in this society. In the pursuit of perfection, we have lost the essence that made us human - humanity. The Watchers are watching. Society thinks that we are the virus. Yes, we are a threat to this society. We will cripple this addiction to perfection, and preserve humanity.

“Stand strong. Choose compassion.”

Stand strong, choose compassion. It was those words that tore the veil for me, and for so many Superhumans.

Yes, dear reader. I too am one of the involved. And so was Rowen. 

And Marcus. Poor Marcus.

Ah, now I have gone too far. We must recap the turning point. The inexplicable, impossible turning point past what was thought to be the point of no return.

Lord Tyke himself undid his own creation. He discovered and invaded the main hideout of the Imperfects, cornering Rowen and challenging them to a battle of supremacy. 

I was there that fateful night, counted among the Imperfects, hidden among the corralled by Rowen’s ingenious trick. And so was Marcus.

We were imprisoned in groups, in cells, in the very same medical centre that birthed the Superhumans. The Watchers became our wardens, and tortured us, taunted us with our own mistakes and shortcomings. 

But the Watchers, Lord Tyke, Superhumans – they did what we thought was impossible that night. Not noticing us, they locked us Superhumans up with the Imperfects. We who sided with them in this war to turn the tide.

They made a mistake.

In that darkness, four words become whispers of hope. In those cells, that hope was born from a feeling, the ability to put another above oneself. In groups, that hope grew those four words into a battle cry. 

Stand strong. Choose compassion.

We helped one another. It was really as simple as that. Superhumans and Imperfects, working together to stand strong against the Watchers. Most extraordinarily, the Imperfects offered the Watchers compassion, turning them towards the same hope that saved us.


And now, all those years later, humanity struggles to reclaim what made us human. Slowly, we learn to coexist, as if peoples of two nations on the only land left to man.

A few, however, were lost that night. Rowen disappeared, but she left behind a message of faith. Faith in the Imperfects, in the great work that had been laid before us by that turning point. No-one has since seen or heard of her, even though she promised she was simply carrying on the good work on her own, in other infected parts of the world.

Lord Tyke was not brought to justice; he, too, vanished without a trace. Looking back, I could not be sure of what we would do, had we did. Would we string him up (or worse) for crimes against humanity? Would we have simply let him go? Or would we, could we even, convince him to our side?

After all those umpteen years, I still do not know.

Then there was Marcus. Poor Marcus. There was no good way of saying it – the nastiest of fate befell him that night, a fate that we will only discover when it will be too late.

No, I did not make a mistake there. Something has happened – will happen, but has not. It is beginning, and it has ended – but not, I think, for you, dear reader. 

I know, it is confusing for me too. I write this story only because I was handed a tattered and half-burned remnant of the original, an aged parchment – but clearly, containing the words you have just read, in my own handwriting.

Can you guess?

There are other markers, prophecies that only just recently was brought into light. Missing planes. Wild games. Children acting like men, and men acting like children. It is as though someone suddenly decided it was time for us to know.

But we didn’t, though. Didn’t know. Still don’t. Uncertainty is always there, distracting us, keeping us away from absolute truth. Doubt is the evil poison that blinds the mind. 

And for some reason it always ends up in my attention. Loose scraps of paper, news of coincidences – or not? – that drastically influenced the course of events today. Seemingly forgotten audio and visual – stories of hope that reminded us of our worth. Like clues to a puzzle, I have a sensational feeling that I will not be able to see the whole picture until I have them all. Until then, I must act on faith.

Stand strong. Choose compassion.

The thirteenth hour has begun its toll.

Everything is about to change.

Friday, July 25, 2025

I'm Back...

 Being a high functioning [censored] is not easy. The seasons are as unpredictable as in Game of Thrones, and I was told that if the triggers were discovered it would earn a Nobel Prize in Medicine, imagine that!

But all that is in the past now. A new season has begun, a season of highs, and I am fully ready this time to grasp every opportunity that comes my way and more!

Welcome back, Food for Thought! It's been 14 years since my last post, let's hope the next interval is not as long!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

The VESSEL

I've got a LOT to write about since my last post, but now I want to get today off my chest first because it's the freshest. (!)

This story began at the inception of DUMC Punctuation Ministry's newest initiative and main focus for the year 2011, the Academy for Performing Arts known henceforth as the VESSEL. Courses to be held in the evenings and/or weekends cover the various aspects of the performing arts scene, namely singing, acting and dancing. Applicants had to audition in song, act and dance for admission which was limited to only 15 for this year.
The day for me was quite hectic. I had to shuffle to and fro from my family and DC, cos' it's my grandmother's birthday when we celebrate with a longevity-noodle breakfast and a birthday luncheon, and then I was serving in the choir in church, all the while doing some last-minute preparation for the auditions later. It was gratifying, to say the least, to have Cathy and Amy, the other two MadWorlders serving in worship this weekend, encouraging me and advised me on my singing. Thanks to you both, as well as to Angie, Melissa and my own cell for your support and prayers!

So, in the early afternoon of this hallowed second Day of the Lord, around 20 budding thespians gathered at Concourse 2 of the Dream Centre awaited their entry into Hall 2 at 2.00pm.
And from MadWorld, no less than FOUR turned up: Rebekah, Sammie, Amanda and myself! "All around me are familiar faces", and it was great to know that the Vessel's inaugural batch of students will have a touch of MadWorld influence,  as it can be certain that some if not all of us will be admitted!


Before the actual auditioning process, we were treated to introductions by Pastor Mike Ngui, who as the pastor in charge will be overseeing the spiritual aspect of this Christian theatre, developing the maturity of VESSEL's students, as well as Mdm Chow Hung Lan, head of Punctuation and Principal of the academy. After, the auditions well and truly began, where the auditioned are required to interpret a monologue given beforehand, and then perform it again based on the given direction, followed by singing on the far side of the room "for vocal projection", and finally a short interview by Hung Lan.
During the four hours that followed, we saw friends going in and out, discussing MadWorld and the pros and cons of going first or last during one-on-one auditions. Amanda had to sing a different song because her worship song was too simple; Rebekah had to deal with her flu and so it wasn't her best, but she was using her callback song from MadWorld and Sammie said her projection was excellent (way to go!); Sammie nearly croaked but held it back towards the end of her song, but found it quite hard to do the second monologue interpretation; I had trouble with my first interpretation but was fine after that, but I sang out of habit (that is to say, almost the same with my many practices since Amy's coaching that morning) so I didn't know how THAT one went. It was a really long wait overall. The plus side is the side dishes: Daryll, Gabriel, Mei Yern, Shaun, Melvin, Zara, and Reuben from MadWorld all came and went! Their presence alone lifted our spirits for the unnerving tests, and many gave more besides.


After four hours of waiting till our nerves nearly broke, the last applicant finally finished her audition, and it was time for the dance test, where all of us joined in at once. It consisted of warm-ups, some ballet movements and a jazz (ballroom dance) routine. To be quite honest, I don't know how he would remember which of us he will admit. For that matter, I don't even know what criteria they were using to screen us...
This reminded me so much of MadWorld! I kept looking at Amanda to gauge her reactions to the exercises that I believe are all too familiar to her! Besides which, I finally appreciate what my sister is or will be doing in her ballet classes, and the jazz just threw me back to my boarding school days when I took beginners' ballroom dancing classes at RM10 per class! It was quite similar to the samba and rock n' roll steps that I learned, and I would be all the more enthusiastic if he would just ... slow down! LOL Honestly, my old instructor William took it quite slow for us, which is just nice and made learning the dance so much more enjoyable. But the "after-effects" are exactly the same: on my way home I kept rehearsing the moves, in the carpark on my way to the lift, and even in the shower (okay, too much info!), much like what I would have done back in school!


The auditions officially ended with a prayer led by Hung Lan, who informed us that the "results" will be out by the end of this week (ending on the 16th), and for the successful applicants a team-building exercise will be held sometime on the 23rd or 30th of this same month.
Briefly? Phew! One whole week of waiting! I don't think I can stand it! All fingers and toes crossed and praying for the best!






Reflections:

For me it was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time! There were some things that I was proud and glad of, less that I was not, and at the end of the audition I find myself just enjoying learning the dance steps so much I didn't feel like an audition for me. I am just yearning for more dance lessons so much that I am desperately wanting to be accepted into the academy now!


But above the drama coaching (which would be a refreshing first for me in a LONG time), the vocal training (that I REALLY need), and even the dance lessons, my main inspiration for joining the VESSEL is the spiritual aspect of it. I am most eager (yea, even ecstatically excited!) for the accountability programme that Punctuation offers, complementing the artistic training. The spiritual input and guidance from church pastors and leaders in the course of grooming our performing skills would not only bolster our course of study and training in Christian theatre, but also a wonderful and God-breathed addition to the spiritual goals I set for this year! Hence my reason for trying out for the VESSEL, as nervous as I was: I want to develop my interest in the performing arts and use whatever I have in this area in the service of our Lord, to give back at least a little something for all that He has done for me, and will do in times to come!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Testing, Testing

It's amazing how personalities emerge and flourish during the exam period. I'm having fun looking at people studying, and teaching others... Although the latter is getting a little annoying. [*wink*]

For me it is an ultimate chance to relax. The papers are not as tough as I had originally expected, but there are those stiff-necked lecturers who are determined to give us hell. Okay, not really, I just forgot to study a few areas.

But still, it's been nice. The maximum hours I spent on any subject are five. In total. I spent more time watching episodes than class notes.

I've been engaged with a group of friends lately, studying - mostly. There are some multitasking on the computer, some who get distracted easily, some who won't stop talking under the pretext of teaching others (I'm just being unfair here, don't mind me, it humours me), and some who just finds any excuse to avoid studying last minute.
I think I'm the last one. I'm putting off studying English... but what the heck right? I already aced the subject without even trying.


In other areas, a party is soon in order. Plans are set and will be in motion in a few hours. The only drawback for me is my great-uncle passing away. I'm being skewered for hosting a party at the condo while the wake is still going on. All vestiges of guilt are being washed away by how unforgiving my parents were at my so-called insensitivity. It's not like I can help it - how can I tell forty people it's off when everyone's paid and geared to come?

And then there's my new writing project. A collection of letters from one guy to another, long distance relationship. A direct result of reading too many romance manga. My first letter's done, sounds solid enough to get the ball going. Gonna find some time to write at least one every day.


Testing, testing,
it drives everyone a-running,
little tempers start to sting,
some will be psychologist-hunting.


Testing, testing,
it gets everyone howling,
fun and games are in the bin,
start playing and you'll get "what are you doing?!"


Testing, testing,
everyone wants an ending,
and even when that is nearing,
the lecturers won't stop pestering!


Ciao.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Story So Far...

I. Can't. Believe. It's. Been. So. Long, Since. I. Wrote. Anything.

Jeez, seriously, it's been almost half a year. One whole Semester.
That's right, I'm nearing the end of my first semester doing Culinary Arts.
In fact, I'm in the middle of exams. How pathetic. But the truth is, our lecturer gave us a lot of tips so I hope that was enough.

I'm really excited as the year draws to a close. I haven't got back to my real self yet, but I feel it's getting there. In fact, I dare say there's been quite a few changes, and I really look forward to the last month of the year and the year ahead.

So to recap...
1. Been serving in the church choir and have been a backstage crew for the church productions. (I really like our nickname - the Men in Black, MIB. Heh.)
2. Written a few installments for my short story series... although it has recently been stalled for one edition because I was fairly busy with assignments. Yeah, didn't know you have to write that much for a Culinary Arts course.
3. Even been to a few vacations. It seems we go every couple of months. Frankly, it's a bit tiring, but a welcome break to a routine that is growing increasingly dreary.
4. Took charge of the food served in our campus youth gatherings. It's been fun, not as much experience as working in a hotel or restaurant but a good way to practice, since it's not as stressful.
5. Been doing daily devotions. It's called journaling, something my church started last year. It's really a good way to read the Bible and letting God talk to me through the Word.

~~~~~

Honestly, I did find it strange staring at my blog with nothing to write. If I were a manga character, my head would be hung, my hair covering my face so you can hardly see my eyes... In fact, I would look so depressed you can't see my entire face, just a whole section of vertical lines. Some artists might even draw spooky ghostly vapours to signify bad depression vibes.
Well, that's just to give you an idea.

Why I haven't been blogging? Well, at first it's because of the job I took up in June, but as the months progress it's been the college classes, then the assignments ... and recently a whole database of TV series I downloaded.

And why now? ... I guess it's because I feel like it. I've been doing a lot of that lately - if something is not compulsory, as in completely voluntary, I'll only do it when I feel like it. It's a welcome change from the rigidness of boarding life routine that I missed so much in recent times.

So before I sign off (as I really need to do some last minute studying - my next paper's in 75 minutes!), here's to hoping I'll return here and make that 50th post milestone.

All the best, to you and to me!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Going On / Stopping Still

Life goes on - a cliche that seems to be used at every possible occurrence, even for the most mundane of things. People like to use it after an event of enormous proportions with possible life-changing side-effects. Whatever that affects you, may have little to no effect to others, and thus life that encompasses all that is in the world goes on like before, like the never ending currents of time.

But for an event that makes everything pause, another cliche is used - as though life, or time, stopped still. Events on this scale may have comparably huge proportions, but affects everyone and makes them stop and consider what has happened, and what life is and would be here on in. Questions will be asked: How did it happened? How could it have happened? What will we do, what will life be, after this happened? Can the world ever be the same?

Which would you rather prefer, life going on or stopping still, when you do something extraordinary? Would you prefer that everyone move on regardless of what you're doing or what happens to you, or would you prefer the whole world, or at least the world you know, to stop and turn their attention to you?

More importantly, what would your choice say about you?

Certainly, the former choice can only point to your selflessness, and perhaps to your humility, that you acknowledge the fact that in the grand scheme of things, you represent but a tiny detail. That would be the general perception, but are you thinking that there are perhaps other possibility? Could it be that you are hopelessly altruistic, that in action and even in death you still think of others before of yourself? Or could it be that you are shameful of your existence, and you would prefer that everyone just turn their eyes away for you? For that matter, could you be suicidal? (Mind you, this is just a thought.)

What about the latter choice? Would you agree that in choosing for life stopping still for you, you are to some degree attention-seeking? Could you be suffering from attention-deficit disorder, the dreaded ADD? Certainly, if you want everyone's attention, it could only mean that you think the world revolves around you. The general perception must be that you are selfish. But are we, if we take this option? Perhaps we are just admitting to, and even accepting, our natural human instinct. The proof is in an innocent child, who desires, and deserves, our every drop of attention. A child seeks the approval in the things he do, and must demand that the world stood still for him.

Of course, you can't expect to choose one and stick to it your whole life. No one is that rigid. The question is, which would you more likely choose more? Then again, you can't expect this to be the absolute truth. Perhaps you have something to add?